I am not engaged... not even close.
My brother called me tonight, after supressing the urge from 2:30 this morning to call. He read my blog early this morning and was convinced I was engaged (or at least was asked) and had neglected to tell him. Just in case you had the same thought I'd like put you at ease... I'm not :) And! If I were, and you read this blog... you'd probably among the first to know!
I'm off to a goodbye party for my friend Chelsea. She's moving to Australia tomorrow! Crazy! Afterward we might be headed to one of my and my roommates favorite places in San Diego- Incahoots for some good ol line dancing! YEE HAW!
P.S. I went to the bay and walked this morning... if you live in San Diego and haven't walked around the bay- go do it! Its a really nice walk... if you can get over the sound from the freeway ;)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
African Relections, more to come
January 17 2008, 5 months from the day I left Malawi, Africa. I feel like I am just beginning to process the chaos and beauty I experienced for two of the shortest and longest months of my life. Will I ever fully process my experiences in Malawi? I don’t believe I will. They were times that challenged me beyond belief, exposed me to unimaginable heartache and accustomed me to a love I had yet to know.
I absolutely love to talk about Malawi and Africa as a whole. I thrive off questions, good and specific questions. Teaching people about the realities of Africa, poverty and the joy of salvation I experienced there gives me life. My time in Africa was not spiritually filling like my time in Mexico almost always is but it was spiritually real. The reality of death in Africa is so much more vibrant than it is here and that is depressing when you realize so many of the dead had tribal beliefs and were likely unsaved. At the same time the reality of death brings a joy of salvation we aren’t blessed with in North America. When death is real life is real and I long for nothing more in my life than a true sense of reality… I think. Authenticity is what I love and that is what I got.
In one of my pre-Africa journal entries I write, “where you lead, I will follow- scared and excited”. That is still my montra but now I am unsure of the path. In May I knew I was headed to Malawi, confident in God’s lead but now I sit in my beautiful, ridiculous, room temperature house wondering where I’m going. Where ever it is I long for it to be drenched in His presence. I was so afraid that I was called to full time missions then. Now I feel like I’m ready to go- I just am not sure that’s where I’m supposed to go. I sit in limbo wondering. If full time missions is it then God, lets go. It will hurt, it takes time, Malawi taught me many realities of full time missions. If that is my future I’m ready to go. I just long for the go ahead. I feel like I’m sitting stagnant at a fork with two amazing, beautiful and vibrant paths ahead of me. Each filled with much joy, hardship and love. How do I know which one is for me? Are they both for me and God will be wherever I am? Is it like choosing a college? Pray over it, make some pro and con lists, think a little logistically and go? They are just so drastically different- much more different than San Diego State or Sac State. Every single thing would be different. I know that in what seems like no time I will be looking back at this entry and thinking- why was I freaking out. God is good and so is His work in my life. I was headed in the right direction. I trust in that now. I just get stuck in thinking about where I will be looking back from. Will it be a humble shack in Malawi or Mexico as I relax with my missionary husband after spending all my energy loving on the oppressed and sick? Or will it be from my cozy bed in the U.S. as I consider raising a family near my own? Both will be filled with love, passion and energy. That’s how I live but they are night and day. I feel like this is the turning point- I am at the edge of something beautiful, it’s just over the horizon but when will I catch a glimpse of what’s to come?
In another journal entry I ask God to reveal to me the places I run to when I want to hide from God or His calling. Am I hiding? Is that why I can’t decide? I still pray Lord, they my heart is yours first. I used to think I wanted You to have it first because You wouldn’t let it break. That’s not true. You will, for the things that break yours and I continue to pray what I have prayed since high school. Lord, break my heart for the things that break Yours. I desire more than anything to be motivated by what motivates You. I long to make change where you desire to see it. If that motivation comes from a broken heart then bring on the breaking. I want to love how you love and teach what You teach. You are my Master, Healer, Redeemer, Father, Lover, Friend. You are good and faithful. Teach me what I need to learn and may my desire to learn from You never be fully quenched.
I absolutely love to talk about Malawi and Africa as a whole. I thrive off questions, good and specific questions. Teaching people about the realities of Africa, poverty and the joy of salvation I experienced there gives me life. My time in Africa was not spiritually filling like my time in Mexico almost always is but it was spiritually real. The reality of death in Africa is so much more vibrant than it is here and that is depressing when you realize so many of the dead had tribal beliefs and were likely unsaved. At the same time the reality of death brings a joy of salvation we aren’t blessed with in North America. When death is real life is real and I long for nothing more in my life than a true sense of reality… I think. Authenticity is what I love and that is what I got.
In one of my pre-Africa journal entries I write, “where you lead, I will follow- scared and excited”. That is still my montra but now I am unsure of the path. In May I knew I was headed to Malawi, confident in God’s lead but now I sit in my beautiful, ridiculous, room temperature house wondering where I’m going. Where ever it is I long for it to be drenched in His presence. I was so afraid that I was called to full time missions then. Now I feel like I’m ready to go- I just am not sure that’s where I’m supposed to go. I sit in limbo wondering. If full time missions is it then God, lets go. It will hurt, it takes time, Malawi taught me many realities of full time missions. If that is my future I’m ready to go. I just long for the go ahead. I feel like I’m sitting stagnant at a fork with two amazing, beautiful and vibrant paths ahead of me. Each filled with much joy, hardship and love. How do I know which one is for me? Are they both for me and God will be wherever I am? Is it like choosing a college? Pray over it, make some pro and con lists, think a little logistically and go? They are just so drastically different- much more different than San Diego State or Sac State. Every single thing would be different. I know that in what seems like no time I will be looking back at this entry and thinking- why was I freaking out. God is good and so is His work in my life. I was headed in the right direction. I trust in that now. I just get stuck in thinking about where I will be looking back from. Will it be a humble shack in Malawi or Mexico as I relax with my missionary husband after spending all my energy loving on the oppressed and sick? Or will it be from my cozy bed in the U.S. as I consider raising a family near my own? Both will be filled with love, passion and energy. That’s how I live but they are night and day. I feel like this is the turning point- I am at the edge of something beautiful, it’s just over the horizon but when will I catch a glimpse of what’s to come?
In another journal entry I ask God to reveal to me the places I run to when I want to hide from God or His calling. Am I hiding? Is that why I can’t decide? I still pray Lord, they my heart is yours first. I used to think I wanted You to have it first because You wouldn’t let it break. That’s not true. You will, for the things that break yours and I continue to pray what I have prayed since high school. Lord, break my heart for the things that break Yours. I desire more than anything to be motivated by what motivates You. I long to make change where you desire to see it. If that motivation comes from a broken heart then bring on the breaking. I want to love how you love and teach what You teach. You are my Master, Healer, Redeemer, Father, Lover, Friend. You are good and faithful. Teach me what I need to learn and may my desire to learn from You never be fully quenched.
“I call, You answer and you came to my rescue and I want to be where You are”.
Monday, December 31, 2007
A Christmas Past
After a sweet prompting from my dear friend Carly I thought I would update my blog! Carly, thanks for the shopping trip in your closet here's to you... incase you dont know my dear friend, here we are pre-cameron on her back patio while Noah and Macy played together.
I hope you all had a great Christmas! Im currently in Sac soaking up time with family and getting to work with my mom! So fun! I've been working in "the field" (of social work) for a few years now on my own but for the first time Im working with my mom! Its kind of wierd but awesome at the same time! We find ourselves telling the girls the same exact thing, responding to something the same and just enjoying our time together. I love my mom.
This is an unrelated but fun picture none the less. It was at Flood's college tacky tinsel Christmas party. Party of the classic san diego tacky Christmas sweater party tradition. My "babies" or bible study girls and I had a blast. Here some of them are looking oh-so-tacky. Love you babies!
I just cant resist more Noah shots... here he is getting ready for Christmas eve at Nonnies. So cute.
I hope you all had a great Christmas! Im currently in Sac soaking up time with family and getting to work with my mom! So fun! I've been working in "the field" (of social work) for a few years now on my own but for the first time Im working with my mom! Its kind of wierd but awesome at the same time! We find ourselves telling the girls the same exact thing, responding to something the same and just enjoying our time together. I love my mom.
Before I left San D my precious roomies had a Christmas party at our house! It was so fun! We love love love having friends over and enjoying eachother. Aaaaaand we got to do it with Christmas trees, lights, cocoa, and Christmas carols!
Here's a nice shot of some of us belting out some Christmas carols. Brittni found a sweet feature on our far too expensive cable that has Christmas kareoke. You bet we took full advantage of that!
This is an unrelated but fun picture none the less. It was at Flood's college tacky tinsel Christmas party. Party of the classic san diego tacky Christmas sweater party tradition. My "babies" or bible study girls and I had a blast. Here some of them are looking oh-so-tacky. Love you babies!
My home home church has a rad family Christmas eve service every year. My mom and I went and got to see old friends, sang good carols and partook in one amazingly interactive retelling of the birth of Jesus. Good work Children's Ministries- it was so fun! The was complete with the little ones collecting the offering... or "Jesus' birthday present" if you will. My favorite kid was the one going from pew to pew asking with hands outstretched "do YOU have anything to go to JESUS?" ... scratch that. My favorite kid was the one wandering the isles yelling "SPARE CHANGE... ANYONE HAVE ANY SPARE CHANGE" good job fpc... you're raising those future bell ringers well. I also got to hear Abby Battenfield sing in a little quintent. She did a great job and made this babysitter quite proud. Good job Abs!
I am LOVE LOVE LOVING getting to spend time with Noah! Hes growing SO fast (as they all do... right?) And melts my heart when he calls me "P" and more often than not... "Di di P" We'll see where those names take us. He is a happy, silly boy who is rather adventurous. I cant wait to see him grow up! I love that kid!
Here's a horrible shot of me but a great one of Noah enjoying his Christmas present from yours truely... a sit n spin. He'll probably break something on it... a bone... a table. those are the best toys- arent they?
I just cant resist more Noah shots... here he is getting ready for Christmas eve at Nonnies. So cute.
That's all for now, Carly, Ill try to keep up better! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Fire update
An answered prayer... the fire didn't move too much last night!
The fires have grown and a few more have started but today aircrafts dropping water and retardant have been allowed up today. There is still no end in sight.
The is still breathable but schools are cancled all week... too bad that doesn't benefit me any more haha
They are allowing some of the 5130,000 evacuees back to their houses but hundreds and hundreds of them are demolished.
My church Flood has set up a make shift call center today. They are calling affected members and linking them to the help they need. We will hopefully put our huge house to use. We offered up to 4 people to stay for up to three days. We'll see who we get!
Thanks for your concern! Ill keep you updated if anything changes!
The fires have grown and a few more have started but today aircrafts dropping water and retardant have been allowed up today. There is still no end in sight.
The is still breathable but schools are cancled all week... too bad that doesn't benefit me any more haha
They are allowing some of the 5130,000 evacuees back to their houses but hundreds and hundreds of them are demolished.
My church Flood has set up a make shift call center today. They are calling affected members and linking them to the help they need. We will hopefully put our huge house to use. We offered up to 4 people to stay for up to three days. We'll see who we get!
Thanks for your concern! Ill keep you updated if anything changes!
Monday, October 22, 2007
San Diego Fires
Hi friends and fam!
I just wanted to update you all on what's going on in San Diego and how I and my loved ones down here are doing. Thanks for your concern and prayers...
If you're checking this you've probably already heard and are wondering how I'm doing (thanks!). I won't bore you with the details but basically 1/4 to 1/2 million people have been evacuated with about the same number of acres burned in San Diego county. For more details go ahead and check the website I've been checking http://www.sandiego.gov/ohs/reverse911/index.shtml
My house is fine and idealy placed considering the locations of the multiple fires. I live at the junction of the 5 and the 8 (for you nor cal'ers... 5 and 8) at the boarder of "Linda Vista" and "Bay Park". The fires are however kind of closing in around us. To be quite honest if we ge evacuated there are not too many places left to go.
The closest evacuations are in Del Mar which is probably less than 10 miles up the 5. The fire is not in Del Mar as of now but they are excpecting it to be. Between Del Mar and my house is mostly houses and businesses, not a ton of brush and vegitation, which is good. We're praying it doesn't move through La Jolla and Pacific Beach because we'd be the next area.
The air isn't that bad yet either. We'll see in the morning. Today it was just obviously smokey with some ashes around. The highways aren't clogged either.
Rest assured- we have bags packed with overnight stuff and important papers (passports, birth certificates, social security cards ext) and i have a sleeping bag, blow up mattress (thank you mexico trips) and a small pillow. We're ready to go if we need to go- hopefully we won't.
My church and friends are taking care of eachother and everything will be fine. It just might be a freaky few days. If you'd like to call, you may but we're not really supposed to use our phones that much to avoid clogging the systems. Buuuut if you're like my mom and will feel a million times better having talked to me just call.
Thanks for your concern! I'll keep you updated as I can!
Amanda
I just wanted to update you all on what's going on in San Diego and how I and my loved ones down here are doing. Thanks for your concern and prayers...
If you're checking this you've probably already heard and are wondering how I'm doing (thanks!). I won't bore you with the details but basically 1/4 to 1/2 million people have been evacuated with about the same number of acres burned in San Diego county. For more details go ahead and check the website I've been checking http://www.sandiego.gov/ohs/reverse911/index.shtml
My house is fine and idealy placed considering the locations of the multiple fires. I live at the junction of the 5 and the 8 (for you nor cal'ers... 5 and 8) at the boarder of "Linda Vista" and "Bay Park". The fires are however kind of closing in around us. To be quite honest if we ge evacuated there are not too many places left to go.
The closest evacuations are in Del Mar which is probably less than 10 miles up the 5. The fire is not in Del Mar as of now but they are excpecting it to be. Between Del Mar and my house is mostly houses and businesses, not a ton of brush and vegitation, which is good. We're praying it doesn't move through La Jolla and Pacific Beach because we'd be the next area.
The air isn't that bad yet either. We'll see in the morning. Today it was just obviously smokey with some ashes around. The highways aren't clogged either.
Rest assured- we have bags packed with overnight stuff and important papers (passports, birth certificates, social security cards ext) and i have a sleeping bag, blow up mattress (thank you mexico trips) and a small pillow. We're ready to go if we need to go- hopefully we won't.
My church and friends are taking care of eachother and everything will be fine. It just might be a freaky few days. If you'd like to call, you may but we're not really supposed to use our phones that much to avoid clogging the systems. Buuuut if you're like my mom and will feel a million times better having talked to me just call.
Thanks for your concern! I'll keep you updated as I can!
Amanda
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Pictures... finally!
Here we are! Better late than never, right?!
This is me holding baby Grace and sitting with Beatrice (Grace's big sister) and her friend. I took Grace from Beatrice's back so she could go play net ball with the other girls. She was stoked and her team even won! This was a typical afternoon for our team (only for the first half of the summer for me). We would go into the outer villages with our kids to run little mini day camps for the kids.
This is the feeding program... actually just the kids washing their hands... in Mtsiliza. I spent most of my summer in this village working with the widows, doing evangelism and working on sponsorship. There are almost 400 kids receiving aid in this village.
Gift is the son of one of the widows. He would spend the mornings with us bouncing from lap to lap. He's a precious one... well they all are. Ruby took a picture because Gift and I matched that day... green and green...
Flood interns doing what we do best at the lake. We had a midsummer retreat at Lake Malawi where we recharged, spent time with the Lord on the beach, snorkled and just relaxed! Oh! And we toured a crocodile farm and saw the fish aqaurium- 85% of the worlds aquarium fish come from Lake Malawi! fun fact.
We're not supposed to have favorites. If I happened to have favorite this little spitfire, Thoko would be at the top of my list :) As we found out at the end of our time in Malawi is one of the widows kids. He is super crazy, energetic and has a hard time following directions (which is an ever bigger deal in Africa than in the US). We spent the summer loving on this boy like crazy and saw a huge change in his behavior! He spent hours on our laps just cuddling and playing little games like how dirty can I get Amandas sunglasses.
Okay... Im having problems adding pictures now so Im going to stop. Ill try to add more later... if you want I have more up on my myspace and facebook.
This is me holding baby Grace and sitting with Beatrice (Grace's big sister) and her friend. I took Grace from Beatrice's back so she could go play net ball with the other girls. She was stoked and her team even won! This was a typical afternoon for our team (only for the first half of the summer for me). We would go into the outer villages with our kids to run little mini day camps for the kids.
This is the feeding program... actually just the kids washing their hands... in Mtsiliza. I spent most of my summer in this village working with the widows, doing evangelism and working on sponsorship. There are almost 400 kids receiving aid in this village.
Gift is the son of one of the widows. He would spend the mornings with us bouncing from lap to lap. He's a precious one... well they all are. Ruby took a picture because Gift and I matched that day... green and green...
Flood interns doing what we do best at the lake. We had a midsummer retreat at Lake Malawi where we recharged, spent time with the Lord on the beach, snorkled and just relaxed! Oh! And we toured a crocodile farm and saw the fish aqaurium- 85% of the worlds aquarium fish come from Lake Malawi! fun fact.
We're not supposed to have favorites. If I happened to have favorite this little spitfire, Thoko would be at the top of my list :) As we found out at the end of our time in Malawi is one of the widows kids. He is super crazy, energetic and has a hard time following directions (which is an ever bigger deal in Africa than in the US). We spent the summer loving on this boy like crazy and saw a huge change in his behavior! He spent hours on our laps just cuddling and playing little games like how dirty can I get Amandas sunglasses.
Okay... Im having problems adding pictures now so Im going to stop. Ill try to add more later... if you want I have more up on my myspace and facebook.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
home sweet, northern hemisphere
Im home! Although Africa was amazing and my summer was divinely appointed it is so good to be home! The travel was smooth- long but smooth. I thought my jet lag wasnt too bad but I ended up awake last night until 3am. I'm feeling fine however. We arrived in what seemed to be the most humid place on the planet, sunny Southern California at about 1:30 pm yesterday. All our luggage went through and we met our rides promptly after we all sailed through customs. My teammates date drove us to North County where two of my fantastic roommates and best friends, Kara and Brittni, met me. I was appalled at their completely normal summer San Diego attire and felt completely embarrassed looking at them. None the less I was stoked to see them. They received me well and we started our short trek home. It was so good to be with them again. They told me stories about the two of them and our third roommate, Sarah, moving into our new house. They laughed at me saying, "you're like a foreigner", as I got excited to hear really old songs on the radio and stared out the window like I'd never been to San Diego. Kara had been preparing for me all day she said... she got my car washed, made welcome home amanda cupcakes and bought me a selection of cereal and fat free milk (the milk and cereal was upon request... my most missed food item). What good friends I have!
Our new house is just as beautiful as I remembered! The only sad news is our spa doesnt work yet but an electrician is coming... don't you worry ;) haha. My roommates promptly showed me "our Mexican place", Niko's... you can see it from my bedroom window. It's maybe two blocks away. Wonderful! For dinner I had half of a Niko's bean cheese and rice burrito and a bowl of lucky charms... mmmm. I was home. hahaha. Then I got to work unpacking my room- one of my favorite activities. The girls have lived here for over a month but my stuff was never unpacked from the move. My room is a bright, cheery, light blue almost aqua. It looks like water... one of the things I missed in Malawi, the ocean. I cant wait to finish decorating, doing laundry and having everything clean and in its place. Oh how I have missed order and cleanliness in my life haha.
After multipule phone calls and emailing I fell asleep at about 3 am. I awoke to a lazy morning at about 9 am and here I am 20 minutes later... still in bed, blogging. Ill start my day soon I have tons of laundry to do and errands to run. Oh! Good news! My mom said I got 100% and 90% on my RCW2 and Social Worker 2 applications and that Im on the hire list for both of them. I think Ill call the county later today to get those balls rolling. Keep your fingers crossed for the Social Work position but we'll see where God leads me.
Thanks for all of your prayers and support! Ill keep blogging as I process the experiences God has given me this summer.
Our new house is just as beautiful as I remembered! The only sad news is our spa doesnt work yet but an electrician is coming... don't you worry ;) haha. My roommates promptly showed me "our Mexican place", Niko's... you can see it from my bedroom window. It's maybe two blocks away. Wonderful! For dinner I had half of a Niko's bean cheese and rice burrito and a bowl of lucky charms... mmmm. I was home. hahaha. Then I got to work unpacking my room- one of my favorite activities. The girls have lived here for over a month but my stuff was never unpacked from the move. My room is a bright, cheery, light blue almost aqua. It looks like water... one of the things I missed in Malawi, the ocean. I cant wait to finish decorating, doing laundry and having everything clean and in its place. Oh how I have missed order and cleanliness in my life haha.
After multipule phone calls and emailing I fell asleep at about 3 am. I awoke to a lazy morning at about 9 am and here I am 20 minutes later... still in bed, blogging. Ill start my day soon I have tons of laundry to do and errands to run. Oh! Good news! My mom said I got 100% and 90% on my RCW2 and Social Worker 2 applications and that Im on the hire list for both of them. I think Ill call the county later today to get those balls rolling. Keep your fingers crossed for the Social Work position but we'll see where God leads me.
Thanks for all of your prayers and support! Ill keep blogging as I process the experiences God has given me this summer.
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